Okay...so much for accountability.  I did nothing yesterday, pigged out a bit no exercise, I did do some sewing though!  2 points for hippy goal.

Oh right speaking of goals.  I totally forgot to mention some big ones. Obviously weight is the biggest one for me right now, then being sustainable, doing something for myself....but the other ones.

Photography!  Sure anyone and their mother can now be a photog but I honestly love images.  Admittedly I know nothing technically speaking but I have an eye.  While I have little motivation up til this point. That can change...I know it can it has to.  It's time to live!  The second half of photography is photoshop/illustrator and then there are all the other adobe programs I have yet to learn.

As with most things in my life. I just don't know where to begin.  Beginning is hard to me.  Sometimes following through is also very hard for me.  But the winter time blues seem to be fading and with the promise of more and more sunshine I am optimistic.  A born and raised Californian living in Portland.  Sometimes it's tough...depressingly tough.

Here and now I vow to get a tanning package next year!  I'm white. I have no delusions of wanting to be actually tan, I just don't want to be pasty and devoid of vitamin D.  It's too tough mentally. I don't like it.

I did have an epiphany this morning.  I want to be thin!  I always want to be thin, I'm flubby and I pretty much always have been.  But this morning I've decided to really and go for it.  Nope. No running happened this morning (probably won't happen tonight either).  I have enlisted help from a little purple pill.  Honestly, I told myself I would never go down that road again - yep I went there and I was pretty small.  For example, only a few years ago I was 135 (my lowest and it was very unhealthy, the means, possibly not the ends) and currently I am at 177.6, from this morning.  I have gained 40 lbs.  That's ridiculous.

Back to the epiphany...I want it and I want it bad.  I'm too lazy to go full crazy, and paranoid to go full crazy about it.  But I am trying OEP - if someone out there stumbles across this and wants to know you can google it.  I am not an ad and honestly I'm a bit sad that I've gotten this desperate but it may be just what I need to get me going.  so I guess I have done something.  Not a great something but something.  I have a deadline and quite frankly it's time.

Beyond that, my boyfriend and I will be working on our projects tonight.  Once they are finished I promise to put up pictures.  Oh yah! I want to use here as a way of showing off my handy work - a display case if you will.  Look for cat grass planter boxes + cat beds in the near future.  They should be pretty sweet...

Ciao Bellas!

P.S. Despite so far, I would like to keep the weight obsession to a minimum here.  My outside, while admittedly very important to me, is not all that I am nor all that I want it to be.